Every week day I ask Koala 15 multiplications facts. Recently he requested that I not tell him what number we are up to. Today I jokingly said that he wouldn't know if I had tricked him by asking 20 extra questions! I then asked if he trusted me enough to stick with his new system to which he replied, "Of course you're my mum!" His face held an expression of complete trust.
He made my day.
Showing posts with label Koala. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Koala. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Leaps and Bounds.
Over the years we have tried many ways to help Koala to achieve his potential. Occupational therapy, speech therapy, chiropractic, kinesiology, diet, psychological assessments. Some of these have been a waste of time and money, others were more beneficial.
One intervention, however, has yielded more fruit than I ever dreamed possible. For well over a year now, Koala and Roo, have been seeing a GP (family doctor) who practises from a bio-medical model known as Mindd. Not possessing a scientific brain, I will not attempt to explain Mindd, but I encourage you to visit their site.
After blood tests, the boys were given natural supplements to stabilise their bio-chemistry. The copper zinc ratio of both boys was not what it should have been.
The Doctor thought that Koala's meltdowns might be attributed to excess heavy metals in his system. A hair analysis was performed which confirmed the Doctor's suspicions. Koala had elevated aluminium and other heavy metals.
When Koala's bio-chemistry was stable he began to take a natural supplement designed to remove the heavy metals from his body. At first there was little change so the dose was increased. We began to notice an improvement in his ability to deal with difficult situations. As the metals began to leave his body, meltdowns became a thing of the past. At first Koala was surprised when a meltdown didn't automatically happen! Instead of a screaming violent child we had a minor temper tantrum. Bliss!
Lately we have noticed that things which would have caused Koala much anxiety and upset do not matter anymore. For example this morning Koala lost a lolly under the seat of Grandma's car. A few months ago this would have caused a flood of tears and much yelling. Today he was able to let it go without the least sign of anxiety. Many times I have steeled myself for a meltdown which simply does not materialise.
The meltdowns have been the most difficult part of Aspergers for Koala, and our family to deal with. The last mammoth meltdown we experienced as at a crowded country fair. After realising that Koala was not going to be able to calm down quickly, James put him over his shoulder and began the long walk back to the car. Following behind, I witnessed the astonished stares and comments of the crowd. I enlightened a few people as to the reason for this spectacle lest they think they were witnessing an abduction! We sat in the car for well over an hour before we were able to drive away.
Needless to say life without this kind of stress makes a huge difference to our family. Recently I realised that I have chosen to withdraw from certain activities because it is easier. Past rejection has caused me to back away from opportunities to make new friends due to the fear of what might happen if Koala has a meltdown. We had begun to put off family outings rather than risk a public display of Aspergers.
So it is a wonderful blessing to be able to see our little boy happy and content. We are able to enjoy him without the fear of a Vesuvius style eruption!
The same doctor has also helped Roo. A stool test revealed the reason for his consistently loose bowel movements. He had almost no good bacteria in this gut. We have been slowly been working to improve this with diet and supplements. Vitamin B12 has also helped to stimulate his language which has greatly improved. He is not yet word perfect, but we can understand everything he says, and he talks as much as the next 5 year old.
We have indeed been blessed to have found this doctor. I never dared to hope that we could see such positive results.
One intervention, however, has yielded more fruit than I ever dreamed possible. For well over a year now, Koala and Roo, have been seeing a GP (family doctor) who practises from a bio-medical model known as Mindd. Not possessing a scientific brain, I will not attempt to explain Mindd, but I encourage you to visit their site.
After blood tests, the boys were given natural supplements to stabilise their bio-chemistry. The copper zinc ratio of both boys was not what it should have been.
The Doctor thought that Koala's meltdowns might be attributed to excess heavy metals in his system. A hair analysis was performed which confirmed the Doctor's suspicions. Koala had elevated aluminium and other heavy metals.
When Koala's bio-chemistry was stable he began to take a natural supplement designed to remove the heavy metals from his body. At first there was little change so the dose was increased. We began to notice an improvement in his ability to deal with difficult situations. As the metals began to leave his body, meltdowns became a thing of the past. At first Koala was surprised when a meltdown didn't automatically happen! Instead of a screaming violent child we had a minor temper tantrum. Bliss!
Lately we have noticed that things which would have caused Koala much anxiety and upset do not matter anymore. For example this morning Koala lost a lolly under the seat of Grandma's car. A few months ago this would have caused a flood of tears and much yelling. Today he was able to let it go without the least sign of anxiety. Many times I have steeled myself for a meltdown which simply does not materialise.
The meltdowns have been the most difficult part of Aspergers for Koala, and our family to deal with. The last mammoth meltdown we experienced as at a crowded country fair. After realising that Koala was not going to be able to calm down quickly, James put him over his shoulder and began the long walk back to the car. Following behind, I witnessed the astonished stares and comments of the crowd. I enlightened a few people as to the reason for this spectacle lest they think they were witnessing an abduction! We sat in the car for well over an hour before we were able to drive away.
Needless to say life without this kind of stress makes a huge difference to our family. Recently I realised that I have chosen to withdraw from certain activities because it is easier. Past rejection has caused me to back away from opportunities to make new friends due to the fear of what might happen if Koala has a meltdown. We had begun to put off family outings rather than risk a public display of Aspergers.
So it is a wonderful blessing to be able to see our little boy happy and content. We are able to enjoy him without the fear of a Vesuvius style eruption!
The same doctor has also helped Roo. A stool test revealed the reason for his consistently loose bowel movements. He had almost no good bacteria in this gut. We have been slowly been working to improve this with diet and supplements. Vitamin B12 has also helped to stimulate his language which has greatly improved. He is not yet word perfect, but we can understand everything he says, and he talks as much as the next 5 year old.
We have indeed been blessed to have found this doctor. I never dared to hope that we could see such positive results.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Visuals.
This week I finally got around to making a visual schedule for Koala.
People with an ASD are visual learners. They also feel more comfortable with a routine which they can rely on. Koala has never been one to completely fall apart if his routine changes, but he does like to have a certain structure. We have been using a tick box systems where he ticks off each subject as he finishes it, but I knew that a visual one would be preferable.
So I began by photographing all the books we use.
I then had them printed four to a page. I laminated them and cut them out. At the beginning of the day all the visuals are placed on a green for go, laminated strip of paper with a velcro strip.
When each activity is completed, Koala moves the visual to the red laminated paper.
We've had a few teething problems in the last 3 days. Koala became rather upset when I wanted him to complete a subject that wasn't next in line! I should have known better! So now I have to make sure that where possible I ask him to complete the subjects in the order I've placed them! We will work on varying the order, as adaptability is an important skill to learn.
Visuals are not exclusively for kids on the spectrum. All kids respond to them. So naturally Bilby has requested his own visual schedule.
Those of you who read my unschool post may be wondering what happened! I'm still working toward a more natural approach to our day, but I think it will take time for me to break my addiction to structure and formal programmes! I have dramatically cut back on the formal side of our day which has been a wonderful blessing.
I know our new visual sehedule will make Koala's day run much more smoothly, which in turn helps everyone in the family.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
A Special Blessing.
Making friends has never been top of Koala's priority list. He certainly enjoys having friends, but he is more than happy to play on his when other children are around. For quite some time, he hasn't had anyone who he could call a friend. Hence, I have been praying that the Lord would send someone into his life that understood him, and with whom he could share the special connection that comes with having a friend. I believe that that prayer has been answered.
We have made a new connection with a lovely Christian home education family. Like us they have a child with an Autism Spectrum Disorder. It has been wonderful for me to be able to talk to another mum, Tanya who understands what living with ASD and home education is all about.
This week we visited Tanya and her children for the day. Tanya's son and Koala spent hours happily playing together. For children who often prefer their own company, you can imagine how happy both mums were! It was wonderful to watch them together. They both enjoy making and watching movies. Koala makes paper movies and his new friend acts out movies. I think they understood each other, which is a rare thing.
My prayer is that the children will continue to build their friendship.
Thanks Tanya for the beautiful photo!
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Surfing the Spectrum!
Prompted by a comment from Mel, on my post The Look, I've been contemplating how to explain what Autism Spectrum Disorders are. I've been thinking about it for some weeks. Perhaps the best way to begin with a definition.
Autism Spectrum Disorders, sometimes called Pervasive Developmental Disorders (PDD), are a range of neurological disorders that most markedly involve some degree of difficulty with communication and interpersonal relationships, as well as obsessions and repetitive behaviors. As the term "spectrum" indicates, there can be a wide range of effects. Those at the lower-functioning end of the spectrum may be profoundly unable to break out of their own world and may be described as having Kanner's autism. Those at the higher-functioning end, sometimes diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome (AS), may be able to lead independent lives but still be awkward in their social interactions...Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified may be diagnosed when a child has autistic symptoms but does not fit into another Autistic Spectrum Disorder diagnosis. Terri Mauro.
Two of our boys have an autistic spectrum disorder. Koala has Aspergers Syndrome, and Roo has PDD-NOS. Because no two children with ASD will present in the same way, I can only comment on how ASD effects my children and our family.
When our second child Koala, was a new born we didn't notice anything different about him. Often parents of kids on the spectrum will say that there was always something that they felt wasn't quite right with their little one. Perhaps their baby wouldn't make eye contact with them, they hated to be cuddled, or the parents just had an innate sense of difference about their child.
Looking back the signs were certainly there. Koala's startle reflex lasted for months. I have a fond memory of Bilby carefully approaching his sleeping baby brother and loudly yelling at him so that he could see little Koala's arms wildly jump. Bilby would then dissolve into peals of laughter!
Koala would also shake is head from side to side at an alarming speed. He usually did this when he was tired, so I simply thought that it was just a harmless thing he did like other babies who suck their thumbs. I now know that it is called a "stim." Older children and adults with ASD often find it extremely difficult to control their stims. Some kids on the spectrum might flap their hands, others shake their heads or rock their whole bodies. Koala still shakes his head early in the morning in his sleep, without even realising it.
Koala was the perfect baby! As he grew I did become slightly concerned by his fascination with doors. Long before the age of 2 he would lie near the front door and endlessly open and close it. He loved to push our sliding wardrobe doors for very long amounts of time. If we visited McDonald's he wouldn't be playing in the playground, but pushing the heavy doors open and shut, much to the alarm of strangers who were sure he would jam his fingers in the door. He never did, as he was so focused on the movement of the door.
I had no idea then, that doors were Koala's special interest. "Special interest" is a pleasant way of saying obsession, for that is exactly what a special interest is. Kids who have a special interest will happily spend all their time on their special interest. They will talk of almost nothing else. They will drive their parents and siblings to distraction with a near constant monologue and a series of repeated questions about the love of their life, their special interest. Because kids on the autism spectrum often have poor social skills, they will talk and talk to anyone about their special interest regardless of the verbal or non-verbal cues the listener is attempting to send, as to their lack of interest!
Koala's second special interest was trains and building train tracks. We have almost the complete set of Fischer-Price Geo Trax system. Koala would spend long hours in his room constructing train tracks. Often I would attempt to play with my son. I would pull out the impressive remote controls that made realistic train sounds and try to engage my son in play. Every attempt would end in failure with Koala screaming at me to get the trains off the tracks. I couldn't understand why he didn't want to play with the wonderful engines that went with his tracks. We took him to steam train festivals, watched endless episodes of Thomas the Tank Engine and a documentary on steam trains. When other parents told me that their child was obsessed with trains too, I knew that they had no idea what being obsessed with trains meant at our house!
As I've mentioned in other posts shopping can be a disaster. I now know why. Children on the spectrum often have sensory issues. This can mean they find loud noises, certain textures, light and so forth unbearable. Most of us neuro-typicals (NTs) have a sensory issue. For me it's slimy things like wet bars of soap, messy toothpaste tubes and cockroaches. Perhaps you can't stand the feel of a woollen jumper against your skin, or the sound of finger nails scraping along a blackboard. Now imagine someone insisting that you do the thing which fills you with terror. Imagine them telling you that you're being silly, there's nothing wrong with cockroaches, or whatever it is. How would you react? Multiply that by 100 and you have some idea of why kids on the spectrum have meltdowns over things the NT world tells them are "silly."
A meltdown is not the same as a tantrum. Young children have tantrums in an effort to get what they want. Kids on the spectrum do this too, but a meltdown is something different altogether. Perhaps a better way to describe a meltdown is a neuro-logical storm. A meltdown can seem to come out of no where. They are often caused by sensory issues, like the unbearable feel of the seam of a sock. They can be violent and long lasting. Any thinking person can see that a child in the throws of a meltdown has little or no control of their behaviour. The look on their faces speaks of sheer terror. (In this blog post I touch on the intensity of meltdowns and our journey with Koala.)
In our home many of Koala's meltdowns have often been the result of Theory of Mind problems. Theory of Mind is a complex thing, but basically it means the ability to understand that someone else does not have the same desires, ideas and feelings as you. Kids on the spectrum often assume you know what they are thinking. Stop and think for a minute of the implications!
Thankfully, Roo does not have meltdowns. He does have an ear piercing scream he uses when things don't go his way, but this is mainly due to him not being able to be understood when he attempts to speak. Roo's main challenges are centred around speech and language. Once he is able to communicate verbally I believe that he will be as "normal" as the next child! I have always thought of Roo as the icing on our family cake!
While low muscle tone isn't necessary for a diagnosis of Aspergers, many children with Aspergers have tone problems and general clumsiness. Koala didn't walk until he was 21 months old. All his gross motor milestones were very late. As a baby I bought him a pair of slippers with Mr. Bump on them. Koala had an almost permanent bump on his left temple. My young cousins, after having a cuddle with Koala, would attempt to put him down as they would with any other baby. Koala would simply hit the floor! Many a time I would open the door of the car and Koala would fall out, hitting his head on the curb. His muscles couldn't react quick enough to break his fall.
I have only scratched the surface of what ASD means for our family. I haven't mentioned the significant social difficulties; food issues; literal interpation of language; eye contact; anxiety or how all this impacts on our eldest son, Bilby. But I have provided a small window into our family which I hope will give you some idea od what ASD can look like.
I am thankful that Koala is a joy to educate. Like most kids with Aspergers Koala is very intelligent. He's well on the way to becoming the only natural speller in our family! He also has a great love of his faith. He will happily share treats without being asked, and always thinks of others feelings.
Much of the above seems to paint a less than cheery picture of life with a child with an Autism Spectrum Disorder. But I feel that our lives have been made much richer because of our sons' challenges. I have learnt patience beyond anything I thought I possessed. I have failed miserably many times, but the Lord has shown me time and time again, that I must lean on him when I think I cannot go on.
Lastly, I urge you to view this moving and thought provoking movie, made by autistic woman, Amanda Baggs.
Autism Spectrum Disorders, sometimes called Pervasive Developmental Disorders (PDD), are a range of neurological disorders that most markedly involve some degree of difficulty with communication and interpersonal relationships, as well as obsessions and repetitive behaviors. As the term "spectrum" indicates, there can be a wide range of effects. Those at the lower-functioning end of the spectrum may be profoundly unable to break out of their own world and may be described as having Kanner's autism. Those at the higher-functioning end, sometimes diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome (AS), may be able to lead independent lives but still be awkward in their social interactions...Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified may be diagnosed when a child has autistic symptoms but does not fit into another Autistic Spectrum Disorder diagnosis. Terri Mauro.
Two of our boys have an autistic spectrum disorder. Koala has Aspergers Syndrome, and Roo has PDD-NOS. Because no two children with ASD will present in the same way, I can only comment on how ASD effects my children and our family.
When our second child Koala, was a new born we didn't notice anything different about him. Often parents of kids on the spectrum will say that there was always something that they felt wasn't quite right with their little one. Perhaps their baby wouldn't make eye contact with them, they hated to be cuddled, or the parents just had an innate sense of difference about their child.
Looking back the signs were certainly there. Koala's startle reflex lasted for months. I have a fond memory of Bilby carefully approaching his sleeping baby brother and loudly yelling at him so that he could see little Koala's arms wildly jump. Bilby would then dissolve into peals of laughter!
Koala would also shake is head from side to side at an alarming speed. He usually did this when he was tired, so I simply thought that it was just a harmless thing he did like other babies who suck their thumbs. I now know that it is called a "stim." Older children and adults with ASD often find it extremely difficult to control their stims. Some kids on the spectrum might flap their hands, others shake their heads or rock their whole bodies. Koala still shakes his head early in the morning in his sleep, without even realising it.
Koala was the perfect baby! As he grew I did become slightly concerned by his fascination with doors. Long before the age of 2 he would lie near the front door and endlessly open and close it. He loved to push our sliding wardrobe doors for very long amounts of time. If we visited McDonald's he wouldn't be playing in the playground, but pushing the heavy doors open and shut, much to the alarm of strangers who were sure he would jam his fingers in the door. He never did, as he was so focused on the movement of the door.
I had no idea then, that doors were Koala's special interest. "Special interest" is a pleasant way of saying obsession, for that is exactly what a special interest is. Kids who have a special interest will happily spend all their time on their special interest. They will talk of almost nothing else. They will drive their parents and siblings to distraction with a near constant monologue and a series of repeated questions about the love of their life, their special interest. Because kids on the autism spectrum often have poor social skills, they will talk and talk to anyone about their special interest regardless of the verbal or non-verbal cues the listener is attempting to send, as to their lack of interest!
Koala's second special interest was trains and building train tracks. We have almost the complete set of Fischer-Price Geo Trax system. Koala would spend long hours in his room constructing train tracks. Often I would attempt to play with my son. I would pull out the impressive remote controls that made realistic train sounds and try to engage my son in play. Every attempt would end in failure with Koala screaming at me to get the trains off the tracks. I couldn't understand why he didn't want to play with the wonderful engines that went with his tracks. We took him to steam train festivals, watched endless episodes of Thomas the Tank Engine and a documentary on steam trains. When other parents told me that their child was obsessed with trains too, I knew that they had no idea what being obsessed with trains meant at our house!
As I've mentioned in other posts shopping can be a disaster. I now know why. Children on the spectrum often have sensory issues. This can mean they find loud noises, certain textures, light and so forth unbearable. Most of us neuro-typicals (NTs) have a sensory issue. For me it's slimy things like wet bars of soap, messy toothpaste tubes and cockroaches. Perhaps you can't stand the feel of a woollen jumper against your skin, or the sound of finger nails scraping along a blackboard. Now imagine someone insisting that you do the thing which fills you with terror. Imagine them telling you that you're being silly, there's nothing wrong with cockroaches, or whatever it is. How would you react? Multiply that by 100 and you have some idea of why kids on the spectrum have meltdowns over things the NT world tells them are "silly."
A meltdown is not the same as a tantrum. Young children have tantrums in an effort to get what they want. Kids on the spectrum do this too, but a meltdown is something different altogether. Perhaps a better way to describe a meltdown is a neuro-logical storm. A meltdown can seem to come out of no where. They are often caused by sensory issues, like the unbearable feel of the seam of a sock. They can be violent and long lasting. Any thinking person can see that a child in the throws of a meltdown has little or no control of their behaviour. The look on their faces speaks of sheer terror. (In this blog post I touch on the intensity of meltdowns and our journey with Koala.)
In our home many of Koala's meltdowns have often been the result of Theory of Mind problems. Theory of Mind is a complex thing, but basically it means the ability to understand that someone else does not have the same desires, ideas and feelings as you. Kids on the spectrum often assume you know what they are thinking. Stop and think for a minute of the implications!
Thankfully, Roo does not have meltdowns. He does have an ear piercing scream he uses when things don't go his way, but this is mainly due to him not being able to be understood when he attempts to speak. Roo's main challenges are centred around speech and language. Once he is able to communicate verbally I believe that he will be as "normal" as the next child! I have always thought of Roo as the icing on our family cake!
While low muscle tone isn't necessary for a diagnosis of Aspergers, many children with Aspergers have tone problems and general clumsiness. Koala didn't walk until he was 21 months old. All his gross motor milestones were very late. As a baby I bought him a pair of slippers with Mr. Bump on them. Koala had an almost permanent bump on his left temple. My young cousins, after having a cuddle with Koala, would attempt to put him down as they would with any other baby. Koala would simply hit the floor! Many a time I would open the door of the car and Koala would fall out, hitting his head on the curb. His muscles couldn't react quick enough to break his fall.
I have only scratched the surface of what ASD means for our family. I haven't mentioned the significant social difficulties; food issues; literal interpation of language; eye contact; anxiety or how all this impacts on our eldest son, Bilby. But I have provided a small window into our family which I hope will give you some idea od what ASD can look like.
I am thankful that Koala is a joy to educate. Like most kids with Aspergers Koala is very intelligent. He's well on the way to becoming the only natural speller in our family! He also has a great love of his faith. He will happily share treats without being asked, and always thinks of others feelings.
Much of the above seems to paint a less than cheery picture of life with a child with an Autism Spectrum Disorder. But I feel that our lives have been made much richer because of our sons' challenges. I have learnt patience beyond anything I thought I possessed. I have failed miserably many times, but the Lord has shown me time and time again, that I must lean on him when I think I cannot go on.
Lastly, I urge you to view this moving and thought provoking movie, made by autistic woman, Amanda Baggs.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Money for Books.
At present neither Bilby or Koala are interested in reading for pleasure. However I have a little scheme which I hope will change that. I am offering them cash for each book read. This offer has been on the table for some time, but wasn't taken up until I suggested to them that they could use the money to pay for a monthly Club Penguin membership. This was just the motivation they needed.
This afternoon we have had a very quiet home. Not only have they been practising their reading skills, but their negotiation skills also. We have been haggling over what each book is worth! The average price seems to be $2.00. Koala is reading a gem form my childhood, one of the Choose Your Own Adventure series. We settled on .50c per story. Judging by the rapidity with which he is reading the book, I think we may have set the price slightly too high. I may have to visit the bank tomorrow! It is likely that these books fall into the twaddle category, but I remember them with great fondness as a struggling reader myself. Fortunately I graduated to Shakespeare, Austin and the like.
This afternoon we have had a very quiet home. Not only have they been practising their reading skills, but their negotiation skills also. We have been haggling over what each book is worth! The average price seems to be $2.00. Koala is reading a gem form my childhood, one of the Choose Your Own Adventure series. We settled on .50c per story. Judging by the rapidity with which he is reading the book, I think we may have set the price slightly too high. I may have to visit the bank tomorrow! It is likely that these books fall into the twaddle category, but I remember them with great fondness as a struggling reader myself. Fortunately I graduated to Shakespeare, Austin and the like.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Birthday Boy
Yesterday was Koala's 9th birthday. He has been quite unwell for over a week. Koala was very concerned that he would still be unwell for his special day. Thankfully he woke up well enough to enjoy the day. As it was a scorcher (41degrees c) we stayed inside and enjoyed the air-conditioning. Much of the day was spent enjoying the birthday treat of a months subscription to Club Penguin!
This is the first year that Koala has not had a special interest. While this is a good thing, it certainly made buying a gift rather difficult! Last year it was wall to wall penguins. This year Koala received a mix of toys: soft toys; Wall-E DVD; a budgie
and gift cards which were the favourite. He hurried off in the evening to spend them on a Lego cargo plane he has had his eye on.
James and I felt very sorry for Roo, who was very distressed when the cake came out. For several weeks before Koala's birthday Roo would insist that it was his birthday next! After the presents were opened he did ask if there were any more, for him I guess! But when the cake came out and we told him that Koala would blow the candles out first he was not impressed. He just didn't understand. Of course the mother in me fleetingly worried that in a few years time Roo would think that on one of his birthdays he didn't get any presents and he wasn't even allowed to blow out his candles!
Koala had a great day. Although I am slightly baffled as to how my little boy came to be 9! He is growing into a young man to be proud of. He is a very caring little boy with beautiful manners. We love you Koala.
This was taken on Roo's baptism day when Koala was 4.5 years old.
Unfortunately our camera is out of order, so the only photos we have, come from Grandma. Thanks!
This is the first year that Koala has not had a special interest. While this is a good thing, it certainly made buying a gift rather difficult! Last year it was wall to wall penguins. This year Koala received a mix of toys: soft toys; Wall-E DVD; a budgie
and gift cards which were the favourite. He hurried off in the evening to spend them on a Lego cargo plane he has had his eye on.James and I felt very sorry for Roo, who was very distressed when the cake came out. For several weeks before Koala's birthday Roo would insist that it was his birthday next! After the presents were opened he did ask if there were any more, for him I guess! But when the cake came out and we told him that Koala would blow the candles out first he was not impressed. He just didn't understand. Of course the mother in me fleetingly worried that in a few years time Roo would think that on one of his birthdays he didn't get any presents and he wasn't even allowed to blow out his candles!
Koala had a great day. Although I am slightly baffled as to how my little boy came to be 9! He is growing into a young man to be proud of. He is a very caring little boy with beautiful manners. We love you Koala.
This was taken on Roo's baptism day when Koala was 4.5 years old.Unfortunately our camera is out of order, so the only photos we have, come from Grandma. Thanks!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
First Holy Communion
On 24th August, Koala received Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament for the first time!
We decided that unlike Bilby, who had made his FHC at a homeschool camp, that Koala would receive his First Holy Communion at our parish. Our parish priest Fr. B. was happy for him to receive the sacrament on the Sunday of our choice. This time I was a little more diligent in his preparation, paying particular attention to what I said, so as to avoid any misunderstandings such as happened when he made his First Reconciliation!
Koala looked very handsome for the children's Mass, which was celebrated by Fr. Dom. Everything went smoothly! Campbell was blessed to be wearing his Great Grandmother's FHC medal and Sacred Heart image. 
He certainly enjoyed being the centre of attention during the morning tea at our home after Mass. We decided to invite only a small number of family and friends so that the focus was on the sacrament, not on the party!
The only negative side to the morning was that Bilby was struck down by a bout of gastro during the night, so he was unable to be there to see his brother receive Jesus. My cousin Danielle kindly agreed to forgo Mass and stay with Bilby.
Reconciliation
Koala received the sacrament of reconciliation on 16th August. It was wonderful to watch his excitement build as he prepared for the big day. He was somewhat concerned that he would need to recite EVERY sin he had ever committed! As I reassured him many times that it wasn't necessary to stress over every sin, it did cross my mind that he may be in the confessional for a very long time! In his excitement to be washed clean, he did forget a few of the things I had taught him. He forgot to close the door to the sacristy (we do not have a traditional confessional) and he forgot to sit or knell!
I had taken pains to explain the importance to thanking Jesus for the gift of the sacrament and saying his penance in a prayerful manner. I had told him that we say our penance in front of the Blessed Sacrament right after we leave the confessional. I hadn't taken into account Koala's literal interpretation of language. Upon leaving the confessional he began to mount the steps of the sanctuary, to say his penance directly in front of the tabernacle!
Koala loves going to confession. My prayer for him is that this passion for the sacrament will not waver.
I had taken pains to explain the importance to thanking Jesus for the gift of the sacrament and saying his penance in a prayerful manner. I had told him that we say our penance in front of the Blessed Sacrament right after we leave the confessional. I hadn't taken into account Koala's literal interpretation of language. Upon leaving the confessional he began to mount the steps of the sanctuary, to say his penance directly in front of the tabernacle!
Koala loves going to confession. My prayer for him is that this passion for the sacrament will not waver.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
How our home education journey began.
I wrote this piece for a Catholic homeschool newsletter in early 2008.
Homeschooling was something I had always been interested in, but I did wonder if I would ever have the patience to actually do it! But as our son who was in year one, began to show signs of struggling academically and generally being unhappy, we started to consider our options more closely. Noises were being made by teachers that Bilby needed to be tested for learning difficulties because he rarely finished his work and was easily distracted. This unsettled me, as I didn’t want him to be labelled when he was so young. I also knew that most of his difficulties could be attributed to the distractions inherent of a teacher student ratio of 1:26.
I was also disappointed that although he was attending a Catholic school, very few of his classmates attended Mass. Good friends of ours with a child the same age as Bilby told us that when their daughter gave a speech about the rosary, she was ridiculed by some children. Alarm bells started ringing. Incidentally this family have also decided to homeschool. We wanted our children to be immersed in their faith and not have to feel like the odd ones out for living a Christian life.
I lived and breathed homeschooling for six months before I was willing to make a firm commitment. This was such a huge decision for all of us that I didn’t want to rush into it only to throw up my hands and quit in term one. For me this would be a permanent decision, and I wanted to be as prepared as possible.
After much angst we decided to bring Bilby home right away rather than wait and see if things improved. I was very apprehensive, but also extremely excited. What excited me most was the faith journey we would take. Like many of my generation who are Catholic and had been educated in Catholic schools, there was much that I was ignorant of. My faith had recently begun to blossom after having attended a Celebrate Love weekend with my husband, and a Cursillo weekend. I had finally made a conscience decision to leap into my faith. I knew that homeschooling would only deepen my commitment and understanding of my faith.
And so our journey began. For the first time in my life I felt like I was exactly where God wanted me. After years of trying to find my place, as it were, I was deliciously content. Swimming against the stream had never felt so right.
We had made the decision to bring only one child home. Our second son Koala had just started kinder and loved every minute. We had two reasons for keeping him at school. The first being that he seemed to enjoy it so much, however the second reason troubled me a little more. I just didn’t think that I would be able to cope with him all day, every day. Koala had always been more of a challenge than our two other children. He was very easily upset and was generally a hand full. As time progressed things seemed to get worse rather than better. So it was easier to have a peaceful day and send him to school.
During term two I approached Koala’s teacher to inquire about his behaviour at school, as he had become quite difficult at home. She reported that he was an angel at school, but that she had noticed some things that were concerning her. I casually commented that I often wondered if he was autistic, but would then dismiss it because he did do so many things that autistic children could not. Her next comment marked a turning point in our lives.
" He’s certainly not autistic, but I have wondered if he could have Asperger Syndrome."
When he was a toddler, I had had almost the same conversation with a friend who was studying to become a teacher, but I had taken no further action. Now it could no longer be conveniently forgotten. We no longer had the luxury of thinking that he was just a little more eccentric than other children.
What followed was the most difficult year of my life, thus far.
I began to read anything I could get my hands on about Aspergers. I instantly recognised Koala in the descriptions of Aspergers. This gave me both a sense of relief and fear. Relief at the possibility of finally getting some answers and concrete help for our little boy, to intense grief at the loss that Aspergers then represented to me. My faith gave me strength, as I firmly believed that the Lord would not have given us Koala if he didn’t think we could do a good enough job! Even though I came close to doubting his choice at times.
Both my husband and I drew great comfort from a close friend who prayed with us during this time of waiting. Each of us had a strong feeling that Jesus had a special plan for our boy. We could picture Jesus tenderly embracing Koala, and surrounding him with his divine love. This image gave me great strength at my lowest points.
Koala was diagnosed with mild Aspergers three days before we embarked on a 400km move! The roller coaster ride began. We finally knew why he wasn’t like other kids, which helped us tremendously in parenting him. With each new book I read I began to feel as if I was getting to know what made my son tick. However, reading those books was very difficult. Every time I encountered the word "disability" I physically recoiled.
At home things steadily got worse. Koala had intense meltdowns. He would scream, throw things and hurl verbal and physical abuse at all the family. I still bear a scar from one of his meltdowns during Mass. Most Masses were a complete disaster. I often wondered if our family would be able to withstand the difficulties that Campbell’s behaviour presented. There were many times when James or I would have to leave the room during a meltdown to weep. We even lost who we thought were close friends because they were unwilling to accept that Koala’s behaviour was the result of Aspergers, not poor parenting.
Despite these challenges thoughts of homeschooling him were still constantly on my mind. Most of my conversations with close friends would soon turn to this topic. I’m certain that I bored them to tears, although they were gracious enough to listen to the same concerns time and time again without complaint! I couldn’t imagine how I could possibly bring him home and manage in safety. But I also knew that many people did homeschool Aspergers children and reported that their children’s behaviour dramatically improved as a result.
As his behaviour deteriorated, and my confidence in homeschooling and my understanding of Aspergers improved, I began to think that things couldn’t get worse even with him at home. We were ready to trust what others who had been down our road had said. That it would be easier. We decided to try homeschooling him. I was learning to trust in my abilities and to lean on the Lord. The Scripture "I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me." often came to mind. All the same I was scared witless!
Koala has been home for three terms. It would not be an exaggeration to say that we have a different child. The meltdowns have all but ceased and he no longer chews his clothes or become physically ill due to anxiety. The anxiety of the school environment was undoubtedly the cause of his negative behaviour. He was able to hold it all together at school, but once home, he released all the anxiety that had built up over the day. He is now a happy little boy once again. One regret I have is that we didn’t bring him home sooner.
I am now at peace with his diagnosis. Many of the things we dearly love about Koala can be attributed to Aspergers. He looks at the world in a unique way. He has a wonderful sense of humour.
People with Aspergers are very literal in their interpretation of language. Upon asking Bilby to keep an eye open for something, Koala asked if he could use two eyes! Or another time when I was purchasing a coffee, he asked why there were three different size cups on the counter. After explaining that coffee was a drink for grown-ups and that they were the three sizes you could buy, he asked if the smallest cup was for short grown-ups!
His intense (some would say obsessive) interest of the moment is penguins. Consequently we all know lots about penguins. We also share our home with 15 or more toy penguins of varying size!
I share our story in the hope that it may encourage someone who is considering homeschooling a child with special needs. Often these are the children who most need to be educated at home, away from the bullies and pressures of school. As parents I think we need to believe that we are the experts when it comes to our children. We also need to trust that if the Lord places something on our heart, that He will give us everything we need to fulfil His perfect plan for our lives.
Homeschooling was something I had always been interested in, but I did wonder if I would ever have the patience to actually do it! But as our son who was in year one, began to show signs of struggling academically and generally being unhappy, we started to consider our options more closely. Noises were being made by teachers that Bilby needed to be tested for learning difficulties because he rarely finished his work and was easily distracted. This unsettled me, as I didn’t want him to be labelled when he was so young. I also knew that most of his difficulties could be attributed to the distractions inherent of a teacher student ratio of 1:26.
I was also disappointed that although he was attending a Catholic school, very few of his classmates attended Mass. Good friends of ours with a child the same age as Bilby told us that when their daughter gave a speech about the rosary, she was ridiculed by some children. Alarm bells started ringing. Incidentally this family have also decided to homeschool. We wanted our children to be immersed in their faith and not have to feel like the odd ones out for living a Christian life.
I lived and breathed homeschooling for six months before I was willing to make a firm commitment. This was such a huge decision for all of us that I didn’t want to rush into it only to throw up my hands and quit in term one. For me this would be a permanent decision, and I wanted to be as prepared as possible.
After much angst we decided to bring Bilby home right away rather than wait and see if things improved. I was very apprehensive, but also extremely excited. What excited me most was the faith journey we would take. Like many of my generation who are Catholic and had been educated in Catholic schools, there was much that I was ignorant of. My faith had recently begun to blossom after having attended a Celebrate Love weekend with my husband, and a Cursillo weekend. I had finally made a conscience decision to leap into my faith. I knew that homeschooling would only deepen my commitment and understanding of my faith.
And so our journey began. For the first time in my life I felt like I was exactly where God wanted me. After years of trying to find my place, as it were, I was deliciously content. Swimming against the stream had never felt so right.
We had made the decision to bring only one child home. Our second son Koala had just started kinder and loved every minute. We had two reasons for keeping him at school. The first being that he seemed to enjoy it so much, however the second reason troubled me a little more. I just didn’t think that I would be able to cope with him all day, every day. Koala had always been more of a challenge than our two other children. He was very easily upset and was generally a hand full. As time progressed things seemed to get worse rather than better. So it was easier to have a peaceful day and send him to school.
During term two I approached Koala’s teacher to inquire about his behaviour at school, as he had become quite difficult at home. She reported that he was an angel at school, but that she had noticed some things that were concerning her. I casually commented that I often wondered if he was autistic, but would then dismiss it because he did do so many things that autistic children could not. Her next comment marked a turning point in our lives.
" He’s certainly not autistic, but I have wondered if he could have Asperger Syndrome."
When he was a toddler, I had had almost the same conversation with a friend who was studying to become a teacher, but I had taken no further action. Now it could no longer be conveniently forgotten. We no longer had the luxury of thinking that he was just a little more eccentric than other children.
What followed was the most difficult year of my life, thus far.
I began to read anything I could get my hands on about Aspergers. I instantly recognised Koala in the descriptions of Aspergers. This gave me both a sense of relief and fear. Relief at the possibility of finally getting some answers and concrete help for our little boy, to intense grief at the loss that Aspergers then represented to me. My faith gave me strength, as I firmly believed that the Lord would not have given us Koala if he didn’t think we could do a good enough job! Even though I came close to doubting his choice at times.
Both my husband and I drew great comfort from a close friend who prayed with us during this time of waiting. Each of us had a strong feeling that Jesus had a special plan for our boy. We could picture Jesus tenderly embracing Koala, and surrounding him with his divine love. This image gave me great strength at my lowest points.
Koala was diagnosed with mild Aspergers three days before we embarked on a 400km move! The roller coaster ride began. We finally knew why he wasn’t like other kids, which helped us tremendously in parenting him. With each new book I read I began to feel as if I was getting to know what made my son tick. However, reading those books was very difficult. Every time I encountered the word "disability" I physically recoiled.
At home things steadily got worse. Koala had intense meltdowns. He would scream, throw things and hurl verbal and physical abuse at all the family. I still bear a scar from one of his meltdowns during Mass. Most Masses were a complete disaster. I often wondered if our family would be able to withstand the difficulties that Campbell’s behaviour presented. There were many times when James or I would have to leave the room during a meltdown to weep. We even lost who we thought were close friends because they were unwilling to accept that Koala’s behaviour was the result of Aspergers, not poor parenting.
Despite these challenges thoughts of homeschooling him were still constantly on my mind. Most of my conversations with close friends would soon turn to this topic. I’m certain that I bored them to tears, although they were gracious enough to listen to the same concerns time and time again without complaint! I couldn’t imagine how I could possibly bring him home and manage in safety. But I also knew that many people did homeschool Aspergers children and reported that their children’s behaviour dramatically improved as a result.
As his behaviour deteriorated, and my confidence in homeschooling and my understanding of Aspergers improved, I began to think that things couldn’t get worse even with him at home. We were ready to trust what others who had been down our road had said. That it would be easier. We decided to try homeschooling him. I was learning to trust in my abilities and to lean on the Lord. The Scripture "I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me." often came to mind. All the same I was scared witless!
Koala has been home for three terms. It would not be an exaggeration to say that we have a different child. The meltdowns have all but ceased and he no longer chews his clothes or become physically ill due to anxiety. The anxiety of the school environment was undoubtedly the cause of his negative behaviour. He was able to hold it all together at school, but once home, he released all the anxiety that had built up over the day. He is now a happy little boy once again. One regret I have is that we didn’t bring him home sooner.
I am now at peace with his diagnosis. Many of the things we dearly love about Koala can be attributed to Aspergers. He looks at the world in a unique way. He has a wonderful sense of humour.
People with Aspergers are very literal in their interpretation of language. Upon asking Bilby to keep an eye open for something, Koala asked if he could use two eyes! Or another time when I was purchasing a coffee, he asked why there were three different size cups on the counter. After explaining that coffee was a drink for grown-ups and that they were the three sizes you could buy, he asked if the smallest cup was for short grown-ups!
His intense (some would say obsessive) interest of the moment is penguins. Consequently we all know lots about penguins. We also share our home with 15 or more toy penguins of varying size!
I share our story in the hope that it may encourage someone who is considering homeschooling a child with special needs. Often these are the children who most need to be educated at home, away from the bullies and pressures of school. As parents I think we need to believe that we are the experts when it comes to our children. We also need to trust that if the Lord places something on our heart, that He will give us everything we need to fulfil His perfect plan for our lives.
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