Homeschool Family Retreat.

A few hours ago we returned from our fourth visit to Fitzroy Falls for the Catholic Homeschool Retreat. Once again it was a wonderful week with daily Mass, confession, rosary, spiritual talks for adults and children, time for making friends, sports, and no cooking!

Below is a photo of the rosary procession with Bishop Porteous (who visited on Tuesday) carrying the Body of Our Lord.

Without fail I return from camp feeling spiritually refreshed and uplifted. One of the highlights for me are the spiritual talks for the parents, which are given by clergy while the children have their own spiritual sessions. It is a wonderful blessing to have such holy priests to encourage and teach us. This year we were blessed to have two such priests. Pictured below with Bilby is Fr. Joseph Mary.

In previous years Roo has not come to camp with us, but this year we thought he was ready. I was a little apprehensive about bringing him along. I was sure that he would be fine, but at another camp a few years Roo stationed himself in the laundry watching the tumble dryer go round and round. Unfortunately we noticed that he regressed a little once we returned home, so naturally I was a little worried. To help Roo, I took along some visuals and a schedule strip to place them upon so that he could see how the day would progress. I took along some stickers for good behaviour. Once he had collected five stickers, Roo received a chocolate which proved to be a great motivator. All this worked a treat as, Roo, had a fantastic time which was such a relief. He is certainly growing up, and fitting in beautifully with the other children.

The highlight for Roo was the mini athletics carnival. He loved the races, long jump, javelin and so forth. He even came home with the 5-6 years age championship and several other certificates!

So now it's back to the reality of family life with it's daily challenges, blessings and mundane routines. I feel very blessed to have had the opportunity to take time out with Our Lord to reflect, learn, and refuel. I am sure that the insights I have gained will serve myself and my family well in the months to come.

Too Slow!

This morning when I began to make porridge for Roo, he wanted me to hurry, so that he could join his brothers for breakfast on the verandah. I told him it would be about ten minutes before it would be ready to which he replied,

"Go for the short version of ten minutes."

Leaps and Bounds.

Over the years we have tried many ways to help Koala to achieve his potential. Occupational therapy, speech therapy, chiropractic, kinesiology, diet, psychological assessments. Some of these have been a waste of time and money, others were more beneficial.

One intervention, however, has yielded more fruit than I ever dreamed possible. For well over a year now, Koala and Roo, have been seeing a GP (family doctor) who practises from a bio-medical model known as Mindd. Not possessing a scientific brain, I will not attempt to explain Mindd, but I encourage you to visit their site.

After blood tests, the boys were given natural supplements to stabilise their bio-chemistry. The copper zinc ratio of both boys was not what it should have been.

The Doctor thought that Koala's meltdowns might be attributed to excess heavy metals in his system. A hair analysis was performed which confirmed the Doctor's suspicions. Koala had elevated aluminium and other heavy metals.

When Koala's bio-chemistry was stable he began to take a natural supplement designed to remove the heavy metals from his body. At first there was little change so the dose was increased. We began to notice an improvement in his ability to deal with difficult situations. As the metals began to leave his body, meltdowns became a thing of the past. At first Koala was surprised when a meltdown didn't automatically happen! Instead of a screaming violent child we had a minor temper tantrum. Bliss!

Lately we have noticed that things which would have caused Koala much anxiety and upset do not matter anymore. For example this morning Koala lost a lolly under the seat of Grandma's car. A few months ago this would have caused a flood of tears and much yelling. Today he was able to let it go without the least sign of anxiety. Many times I have steeled myself for a meltdown which simply does not materialise.

The meltdowns have been the most difficult part of Aspergers for Koala, and our family to deal with. The last mammoth meltdown we experienced as at a crowded country fair. After realising that Koala was not going to be able to calm down quickly, James put him over his shoulder and began the long walk back to the car. Following behind, I witnessed the astonished stares and comments of the crowd. I enlightened a few people as to the reason for this spectacle lest they think they were witnessing an abduction! We sat in the car for well over an hour before we were able to drive away.

Needless to say life without this kind of stress makes a huge difference to our family. Recently I realised that I have chosen to withdraw from certain activities because it is easier. Past rejection has caused me to back away from opportunities to make new friends due to the fear of what might happen if Koala has a meltdown. We had begun to put off family outings rather than risk a public display of Aspergers.

So it is a wonderful blessing to be able to see our little boy happy and content. We are able to enjoy him without the fear of a Vesuvius style eruption!

The same doctor has also helped Roo. A stool test revealed the reason for his consistently loose bowel movements. He had almost no good bacteria in this gut. We have been slowly been working to improve this with diet and supplements. Vitamin B12 has also helped to stimulate his language which has greatly improved. He is not yet word perfect, but we can understand everything he says, and he talks as much as the next 5 year old.

We have indeed been blessed to have found this doctor. I never dared to hope that we could see such positive results.

You Know Your 5 Year Old is Catholic When...

Last week end we once again visited the beach. Roo spotted a common green weed that is found in rock pools, which resembles a string of beads. He picked it up and exclaimed "Rosary beads!"

Too cute.

He's Done it!

The last few weeks have seen Roo achieve two long awaited goals.

For months now, Roo has been using the echolalic phrase"Yes Sir," in response to every question that requires a simple "yes" and many other questions or comments that don't require a "yes." It all began innocently enough while Bilby and Roo were playing, and Bilby thought it sounded cute when Roo said "Yes Sir!" Bilby encouraged Roo to say it a few times and it stuck despite many, many attempts to dissuade him. Every time he said "Yes Sir," we would model the correct response. I was beginning to wonder if he would ever abandon it! This week I have noticed that he is simply saying "Yes." I have to restrain myself from praising him for not saying "Yes Sir," which could bring us back to square one.

Roo's second achievement is that he has started to use the toilet for bowel motions. Granted this is not the most pleasant blog topic, but as it's such a big step and one that we have worked so hard to help him achieve, I feel it's worth noting. I wanted to shout it from the roof top, but it's not something you can tell everyone without getting odd looks! Perhaps my sharing it here will encourage another family dealing with this issue who is wondering if they'll ever say good-bye to nappies. There was no magic solution for this one, just consistent encouragement, loads of patience and a few lollies!

Sweet!

This week has brought several long hoped for blessings. I took Roo to our home education gymnastics class and stayed with him during the lesson for extra support. I thought at best be would last 30 minutes, before he would run off and attempt to do his own thing. He lasted the whole hour! He did everything the other children did with a huge smile on his face. Once or twice he even pushed me away with a " You go over there." The only thing he needed me for was to simplify the language of the coach. He loved every minute of it and can't wait to go back next week.

Yesterday at preschool I was told that Roo had made a friend. A younger boy who has very little english as he his family have recently immigrated to Australia. The teachers helped Roo to invite his friends to play in the sandpit with him, and Roo helped his friend find a teacher when he was crying.

Roo is becoming a real chatterbox. His language has certainly taken off in the last month. Much of what he says I can understand with little difficulty. I frequently find myself smiling and praising God for all the cute little things he is saying. It's been a long wait, but how sweet it is to hear him speak!

Divine Mercy Novena. Day One.

This morning I began the Divine Mercy novena. I should have begun yesterday, but for various reasons, I didn't. In most of the world it's still Good Friday after all! Better late then never.

What made this extra special was that Roo came to find me, despite the lure of his brothers playing his favourite computer game, he stayed with me! He climbed on my knee and fingered the beads with me. I sung the final decade, and he still stayed! We finished with me helping Roo to say a spontaneous prayer after which he blew out our candle. It was lovely to share this beautiful chaplet with my boy.

He Loves Me!

Roo just spontaneously said, "I love you."
Another first, and one I have been eagerly awaiting!
He will say I love you when I ask him to, but this came out of the blue.

He also said 6 words today! "Pink rocket go up in sky."
Two lovely little Australia Day presents.

Visiting Jesus.

Today Roo and I made a brief visit to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. The older boys were at Grandma and Poppy's for their holiday sleepover. We are very blessed to have a Blessed Sacrament Chapel in our parish, which is 500m from our door. It is almost always open. Naturally it's my favourite place to spend time. My dog is even content to wait outside when we go for walks!

The chapel is a small room attached to the presbytery. It has less than a dozen chairs, some reading material and many beautiful holy pictures of Jesus and his Blessed Mother. The Blessed Sacrament is exposed in a monstrance, at the base of which are always flowers. One can be physically very close to Jesus. You can see why it's one of my favourite places to spend time!

I was very proud of Roo during our visit. He was very reverent. He made a double genuflection and sat quietly in his seat. After a short time, I told Roo we were leaving. Without any prompting he said "I love you Jesus." Very cute.

Birthday Boy

Yesterday was Koala's 9th birthday. He has been quite unwell for over a week. Koala was very concerned that he would still be unwell for his special day. Thankfully he woke up well enough to enjoy the day. As it was a scorcher (41degrees c) we stayed inside and enjoyed the air-conditioning. Much of the day was spent enjoying the birthday treat of a months subscription to Club Penguin!

This is the first year that Koala has not had a special interest. While this is a good thing, it certainly made buying a gift rather difficult! Last year it was wall to wall penguins. This year Koala received a mix of toys: soft toys; Wall-E DVD; a budgie and gift cards which were the favourite. He hurried off in the evening to spend them on a Lego cargo plane he has had his eye on.

James and I felt very sorry for Roo, who was very distressed when the cake came out. For several weeks before Koala's birthday Roo would insist that it was his birthday next! After the presents were opened he did ask if there were any more, for him I guess! But when the cake came out and we told him that Koala would blow the candles out first he was not impressed. He just didn't understand. Of course the mother in me fleetingly worried that in a few years time Roo would think that on one of his birthdays he didn't get any presents and he wasn't even allowed to blow out his candles!

Koala had a great day. Although I am slightly baffled as to how my little boy came to be 9! He is growing into a young man to be proud of. He is a very caring little boy with beautiful manners. We love you Koala. This was taken on Roo's baptism day when Koala was 4.5 years old.

Unfortunately our camera is out of order, so the only photos we have, come from Grandma. Thanks!

Echolalia

Roo has never been a big television watcher until he discovered the Toy Story movies! I thought that he would probably love Toy Story as much as his brothers, so I put off it's enrty into our home for quite a while. I was right! He can't get enough of both movies. So much so that I have had to hide the cases so that he doesn't walk around with them all day!

His love of these movies has provided his first use of delayed echolalia. When he is upset with someone he says "You are a toy!" in the same tone which Buzz uses with Woody when he is upset that Woody is not returning home with the other toys.

He has used immediate echolalia ever since he started talking. His use of it has slowed as his ability to express himself has increased. Roo is now able to ask for what he wants rather than shouting. I am very excited about what this year will bring for Roo's use of language.

But I thought we were going to Italy?

Yesterday, 2nd December, James and I celebrated our 13th Wedding Anniversary. I quite like the number 13. I like to think of it as Our Lady's number, as she appeared to the children of Fatima on the 13th of the month from May to October 1917.

It was also the date when we received a diagnosis of atypical autism (also referred to as PDD-NOS) for Roo.

For some time I have thought that if he is on the autistic spectrum, that would be the most likely diagnosis. However, I was hopeful that his difficulties were the result of a more general delay.

At the moment I am still processing what the diagnosis means for our family. I want to push the pause button on our life while I sift through the implications and emotions. Strangely , this diagnosis doesn't feel as difficult to comprehend as Koala's diagnosis of Aspergers. Perhaps because we have been here before and know some of what's coming.

I'm trying very hard to not feel sorry for myself, and sorry for the reshuffle of my dreams for Roo and his education. I'm trying really hard not to feel cheated when I hear about other 4 year olds who are starting to read; joining in on the home school gymnastics class; talking non-stop, in short, just being normal 4 year olds! It hurts.

I don't want to be here in Holland!

"Welcome to Holland"
By Emily Perl Kingsley, 1987. All rights reserved.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Guess what happened today?

This afternoon Roo did something very special.

He has started spending Thursdays with Grandma. Every morning he asks in his own little way, if today is Grandma Day! She picks him up in her car and they spend the day together. A highlight of the day is the return journey on the train!

Today I asked him if what special things he had done with Grandma. I was expecting not to get an answer. Usually Roo simply attempts to repeat back what he has heard, but today was different. For the first time he answered a question in an appropriate way! I asked had he done anything special with Grandma. He replied "Milkshake." I became very excited, which earned me a very cute, shy smile.

"What else?" I asked.

"Washing machine." said Roo. My Mum has a front loading washing machine which Roo loves as he can see the clothes spin. Roo has always loved anything that spins or can be spun: fans; straws; wheels; anything!

Roo's language has improved noticeably of late. We still have a very long way to go, but I now know that he will get there!

The photo I have attached is over a year old, but it's one of my favourites!